Mostly for Myself

Remember those difficult times in your life when you have truly felt the Lord working? When you felt His presence so clearly? These are precious times that need to be remembered. Throughout this entire surgery, I have had blessings heaped upon me that I simply cannot forget about.

I cannot forget the peace that I felt after asking for prayers from dear friends. I had been really unsure about the entire process since I had never had surgery before. However, once asking the Lord for peace and having friends ask on my behalf, a calm took over that definitely wasn't from me.

I cannot forget the provision. Tim and I pay for our health insurance out of pocket. This means that we have a rather high deductible. This never seemed to be a big deal since we are both healthy people. However, when this tumor came, we realized that we were going to need to pay for our $4,000 deductible out of pocket. Though we had this in savings, it's difficult to fork over a large amount. Through the kindness of my boss and members of the church who had no idea that we even needed money, we were given the full amount. My boss and church family are definitely generous, but not THAT generous. This prompting had to be from our Lord.

I cannot forget the quick recovery. My mom says that when I came out of the surgery I looked a bit like  I had a stroke. However, by Wednesday when my dear friend came over to sit with me, she said that she was expecting worse. By the next week when I returned to work, coworkers insisted that they don't notice the weakness. While I certainly do, and still get incredibly tired out by talking by the end of the day, I know that I am far ahead where I should be. This can only be because I'm getting healed by our Creator.

I cannot forget the friendship that was formed. There is an unbelievably sweet woman who asked to meet with me about my surgery. She has had ten surgeries on her jaw in the last fifteen years and wanted to share her wisdom.I don't know that we would have talked if this hadn't happened. But, I am so thankful that we were able to talk and I could get to know her beautiful heart. She came to sit with Tim at the hospital so he wouldn't be alone and checked on me every day that I was at home recovering. She is such a treasure that I may not have known if this hadn't happened.

It is so easy to go down the road and forget the things that our Lord has done. I hope that I never forget that He is active and present in my life. Even when it's not as obvious as it has been this past few weeks. This was a huge situation that was really stressful before I let the Lord took over. He showed His faithfulness and provision all the way through. I can only hope that I'm a bit quicker at giving Him my problem next time.

I am a sucker for medical shows. Of course, I can't actually watch the gore, but enjoy the cases that take place. I watched House, ER, and Greys Anatomy. Bodies fascinate me. But, I would always scream in frustration at the TV when a patient would choose to not have surgery. It made no sense to me, the doctors always did their job well. Even when there was low risk, some would opt not have it. It infuriated me.

So, imagine my surprise when I suddenly found that I could empathize with these patients.

I found a lump on my neck back in May. I went in to the doctor and they ran multiple tests. All were inconclusive. They couldn't figure out if this bump was a gland or an infected lymph node. They hoped for the lymph node and gave me antibiotics. Two trials of these antibiotics with no results. Finally, a couple of weeks ago, a CT scan revealed that it was a benign tumor from the parotid gland (A gland that runs from the top of the ear down the side of your jaw).

Due to the size of the tumor, it was  a difficult surgery. The main vein that controls facial movement runs through the center of the gland. The gland needs to be removed since there is a chance that it will keep throwing benign tumors. So I went in and had it removed.

The surgery could not have gone better. My doctor believes that I should regain all facial movement. Right now I'm at about 60% for facial control.

For those of you that I haven't told about this, it's mostly because I was overwhelmed. Even now, it's easier to simply write it then to have to call everyone and explain it. No worries, friends. It went well and I should be back to normal in no time.

I actually wrote this post the day before the surgery and forgot to actually post it. In my next post, I will be talking about God's faithfulness throughout this entire ordeal. Thanks for loving me!