I was reading from Relevant Magazine this article on things you should know before you get married. Three really valid points. Here are some less insightful things I learned when I got married.

 Adios Privacy! Okay, so Tim certainly doesn't barge in to the bathroom while I'm getting ready or anything like that. But, a lot of things that I would do in my down time are harder to do now that we're married. He sees me a sweaty mess after working out. The icky red nose that happens after a cold. Jammies and unbrushed hair on a Saturday. I know some people are totally cool with this, but it was really hard for me to have him see me in those moments.

No Alone Time. When we got engaged, I remember being so excited about having Tim around all the time. In truth, I do love it, now. But when we first got married, it was such a challenge. We went from the day of our wedding, to a honeymoon together, and moving to a different city the next week. Two weeks in of constant togetherness. One night, Tim was trying to decide if he should go and see a friend. I practically begged him to do so. I needed some time to regroup on my own. More like shave my legs and watch girl tv. Now that we've found our little niche with each other, it's just as comforting to be with him all the time, but that definitely didn't happen right away.

 It Is Clean! We have absolutely different ideas of what is considered clean in different areas. It's really weird how to decide the standard of cleanliness per room. I prefer to have everything put away, dusted, vacuumed for most rooms. I like for things to be put away in the storage areas and such. Tim, not quite to that standard. The garage, Tim likes to have everything put away and in its place. Me, not so much. It's been interesting to learn how to compromise.

Vacations. I don't know if anyone else struggles with this, but it started right away with our honeymoon. Our honeymoon was less than ideal. It rained for the entire time, minus the 45 minutes we were at Dinosaur Land (yep, you read that). I can't say that I always had the best attitude. I was more than willing to spend a majority of time in our hotel room. Hello, honeymoon here. Tim had other ideas. He said that we might only be in Florida once and he was determined to see as much as possible. So we toured the Busch Gardens, Seaworld and Six Flags............... in the pouring rain. We still don't entirely agree on vacations. Tim still wants to see every inch of wherever we are while I prefer to not want a vacation from my vacation. But, we're trying to do a little of both. Maybe someday he'll realize how relaxing a vacation can be!

For the actual article, check it out here.
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/3-things-i-wish-i-knew-we-got-married

I Have THE Funniest Friends

No, really. My friends are always the funniest and the coolest.

So, Kristin Howerton isn't exactly my friend, but I read her blog all the time. So I can count her, right? Check this out. Try not to laugh....

http://www.babble.com/babble-voices/roadside-assistance-kristen-howerton/2013/01/22/best-satire-reviews-on-amazon/#

Mostly for Myself

Remember those difficult times in your life when you have truly felt the Lord working? When you felt His presence so clearly? These are precious times that need to be remembered. Throughout this entire surgery, I have had blessings heaped upon me that I simply cannot forget about.

I cannot forget the peace that I felt after asking for prayers from dear friends. I had been really unsure about the entire process since I had never had surgery before. However, once asking the Lord for peace and having friends ask on my behalf, a calm took over that definitely wasn't from me.

I cannot forget the provision. Tim and I pay for our health insurance out of pocket. This means that we have a rather high deductible. This never seemed to be a big deal since we are both healthy people. However, when this tumor came, we realized that we were going to need to pay for our $4,000 deductible out of pocket. Though we had this in savings, it's difficult to fork over a large amount. Through the kindness of my boss and members of the church who had no idea that we even needed money, we were given the full amount. My boss and church family are definitely generous, but not THAT generous. This prompting had to be from our Lord.

I cannot forget the quick recovery. My mom says that when I came out of the surgery I looked a bit like  I had a stroke. However, by Wednesday when my dear friend came over to sit with me, she said that she was expecting worse. By the next week when I returned to work, coworkers insisted that they don't notice the weakness. While I certainly do, and still get incredibly tired out by talking by the end of the day, I know that I am far ahead where I should be. This can only be because I'm getting healed by our Creator.

I cannot forget the friendship that was formed. There is an unbelievably sweet woman who asked to meet with me about my surgery. She has had ten surgeries on her jaw in the last fifteen years and wanted to share her wisdom.I don't know that we would have talked if this hadn't happened. But, I am so thankful that we were able to talk and I could get to know her beautiful heart. She came to sit with Tim at the hospital so he wouldn't be alone and checked on me every day that I was at home recovering. She is such a treasure that I may not have known if this hadn't happened.

It is so easy to go down the road and forget the things that our Lord has done. I hope that I never forget that He is active and present in my life. Even when it's not as obvious as it has been this past few weeks. This was a huge situation that was really stressful before I let the Lord took over. He showed His faithfulness and provision all the way through. I can only hope that I'm a bit quicker at giving Him my problem next time.

I am a sucker for medical shows. Of course, I can't actually watch the gore, but enjoy the cases that take place. I watched House, ER, and Greys Anatomy. Bodies fascinate me. But, I would always scream in frustration at the TV when a patient would choose to not have surgery. It made no sense to me, the doctors always did their job well. Even when there was low risk, some would opt not have it. It infuriated me.

So, imagine my surprise when I suddenly found that I could empathize with these patients.

I found a lump on my neck back in May. I went in to the doctor and they ran multiple tests. All were inconclusive. They couldn't figure out if this bump was a gland or an infected lymph node. They hoped for the lymph node and gave me antibiotics. Two trials of these antibiotics with no results. Finally, a couple of weeks ago, a CT scan revealed that it was a benign tumor from the parotid gland (A gland that runs from the top of the ear down the side of your jaw).

Due to the size of the tumor, it was  a difficult surgery. The main vein that controls facial movement runs through the center of the gland. The gland needs to be removed since there is a chance that it will keep throwing benign tumors. So I went in and had it removed.

The surgery could not have gone better. My doctor believes that I should regain all facial movement. Right now I'm at about 60% for facial control.

For those of you that I haven't told about this, it's mostly because I was overwhelmed. Even now, it's easier to simply write it then to have to call everyone and explain it. No worries, friends. It went well and I should be back to normal in no time.

I actually wrote this post the day before the surgery and forgot to actually post it. In my next post, I will be talking about God's faithfulness throughout this entire ordeal. Thanks for loving me!

OCD & Christianity

As a graduate with a Counseling/Psych major, I tend to think of myself as having more knowledge that the average person when dealing with different issues. Someone will mutter something to me about PTSD or about cutters, and I nod my head knowingly.Even though I came to the conclusion that I didn't want to counsel people, I never lost the interest. I DVR Dr. Phil daily. Not due to his stunning therapy skills, but more so because I just love watching all of the different people and their issues. I enjoy identifying what Dr. Phil is doing with his people. 

I wouldn't consider myself a stellar counselor, but just knew that I had more knowledge than the average person. When a close friend to mine told me that she had OCD, I nodded my head knowingly. She began sharing with me what she has gone through and I realized that my huge head didn't hold a lot of facts about counseling at all. 

The main truth that I gleamed from her was how hard OCD interacts with Christianity. Jackie didn't struggle with cleaning her hands so many times or needing to repeat a phrase. Jackie struggled with blasphemous, involuntary thoughts. These thoughts wreaked havoc on her. Jackie believed that she had created the unforgivable sin. That she would be cut off from her Savior. 

Now, she has freedom. Between CBT and meds, she has found freedom. I am so incredibly proud of her. She has written a novel about this whole period in her life and maintains a blog. If you would like to check her out, you can go to http://lightsallaround.wordpress.com/ If you would want to read snippets of her novel, go to the novel tab. 

Band Wagon

I'll admit it. I cannot wait for Hunger Games to come up. I have read all three books and would call myself a fan. So, happy reading different reviews. It's going to be so good!

For the past eight months, Tim and I have been working really hard on our kitchen. It was a fairly normal sight to meet me somewhere and see drywall dust in my hair or paint splatters on my arm. It has been a LONG process and one that could have been done a long time ago if we hadn't wanted to do the majority of the project ourselves. The rest we have subbed out to friends, who did this in their spare time, which means a waiting game as well.

But, the kitchen is SO close to being done. We completely gutted the kitchen. We added a dishwasher and more cabinets. I built the majority of our cabinets myself because Tim didn't love the tedious project. This suited me well as I didn't like installing the big heavy cabinets after. The floor has been laid and grouted. The dishwasher has been hardwired. The cabinets all have handles. There is just one small minor detail. The dishwasher still hasn't been hooked up to the water line. A small, but crucial detail that we have been waiting on a friend for weeks now. I would love to simply call a plumber and have it completed, but apparently in marriage people need to agree. So I wait.

My messy, project kitchen makes me think of my own life. God has in a lot of ways completed gutted a lot of the old things. There is fine tuning with my mouth and my heart to make me more loving. There has been a lot of work and still quite a bit to do. But, I couldn't be in more capable hands.